


Just A Feeling

by wookbutt09



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Infidelity, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 07:26:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2684345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wookbutt09/pseuds/wookbutt09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi gives in to an unhealthy relationship with Eren, as if Eren were a drug he becomes addicted to. He loves Eren despite all the lies. Does Eren feel the same? Modern AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just A Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> This is a very short Songfic that I created in my head while driving around listening to the new Maroon 5 album, V. The songs all gave me super Ereri feels, so I put the songs together to create a story from them. There's technically no dialogue, the italicized song lyrics are their feelings/thoughts but are also their actions?? Just... here, lol. 
> 
> This first part is Levi's POV.

Eren and Levi have known each other for quite a long time. Levi is a hardworking guy, generally pretty reserved and with just a few close friends. Eren is not like Levi. Eren has a wild side, you could say. Generally a promiscuous, adventurous type, but friendly, and always fun.

Eren is always happy, Levi thinks. Levi is never really happy. So Eren gets Levi to start letting loose. Levi thinks it's stupid at first, but he rolls his eyes and goes along with it because it's hard for anyone to say no to Eren.

But as time passes, Levi doesn't think it's stupid anymore. He doesn't know what it is, but Eren is electrifying. Eren is excitement and laughter and life all rolled into one. He realizes that he wants that, too. He wants Eren. He can't get enough. He doesn't care if Eren has a different guy every month, because he wants to be that guy all the time.

One night, they're in a club, and just two months ago, Levi would never have believed that he'd be caught dead sweaty and grinding with Eren on the dancefloor, but they do this often now, and Levi can't hold back any longer.

_If you want me take me home and let me use you. I know he doesn't satisfy you like I do. And does he know that there's nobody quite like you? So let me tell you all the things he never told you. I got these feelings for you, and I can't help myself no more. Can't fight these feelings for you. No, I can't help myself no more._

They head back to Levi's apartment. Levi wants to just eat Eren whole, and Eren lets him.

In the morning, Levi looks over to Eren, snoring gently next to him, his brown hair a mess, and practically drooling on the pillow. Levi then looks up and stares at the ceiling. If he were going to try and ignore these feelings before, it would be utterly impossible now.

_Woke up sweating from a dream, with a different kind of feeling. All day long my heart was beating, searching for the meaning. All my hidden desires finally came alive. No, I never told lies to you so why would I start tonight? Hazel eyes, I was so colorblind. We were just wasting time for my whole life. We never crossed the line, only friends in my mind, but now I realize it was always you. Can't believe I could not see it all this time. Now I know why my heart wasn't satisfied. It was always you, no more guessing who. Looking back now I know it was always you._

~~

Levi is addicted to Eren like a drug. Eren makes him feel things he never thought were possible. They've been together for over a year now, but he wants him just as much as before. He needs Eren. Levi doesn't care if Eren isn't faithful to him. He knows Eren still sees other guys behind his back, but it doesn't matter. He couldn't leave at this point even if he wanted to.

_So if I run it's not enough. You're still in my head forever stuck. So you can do what you wanna do. I love your lies, I'll eat 'em up. But don't deny the animal that comes alive when I'm inside you. Just like animals._

But how long could that really last?

~~

Years go by, and Levi loves Eren with all of his entire being, but there are so many nights spent laying in bed by himself.

Where was Eren? Does he even feel the same?

 _I'm hurting, Baby, I'm broken down. I need your loving, I need it now. When I'm without you, I'm something weak. You got me begging, I'm on my knees. I don't wanna be needing your love, I just wanna be deep in your love, and it's killing me when you're away. 'Cause I really don't care where you are, I just wanna be there where you are._

~~

Levi gets the courage to confront Eren one night. It can't go on like this anymore. He's afraid he'll suffocate or disappear, one or the other, but either way he's desperate to stop this feeling. He just needs Eren to stop and listen. He just needs Eren.

_Would you let me talk to you? You gotta let me know, 'cause I'm on the edge now of a nervous breakdown, 'cause I can't get through to you. I got my hands up screaming, got my hands up screaming..._

But Eren was never one to be tamed so easily, and Levi knew that from the beginning - Eren is a passionate lover, but he's also a passionate fighter, and, cornered, he fights back.

Levi tries hard to keep this calm, to keep them both rational and just talk this out, but it hurts that Eren can't even admit what he's done. He's seen the texts, and the marks left on him that Levi knows he didn't put there. So why is Eren mad at him, instead? Levi doesn't think he can stay calm any longer.

_Say what you're mad at me for. Why you talk that evil? That's not the way you show love. Say what you're crying at me for. Try to control your ego. That's not the way you show love. This shit you're saying is so low. But tell me, where do you go when you say you need time alone? You really think I don't know? I know. Show me that phone in your pocket. You think that I don't know what this is really all about? It should be really easy if you have nothing to hide._

But Eren refuses to budge. He's hard headed, and stubborn, and Levi just sighs because he loves that about Eren and wouldn't expect him to change. But he knows this isn't going anywhere. 

Levi isn't sure where he suddenly got the courage. Usually the idea of losing Eren would send him into a panic. But in this moment, watching Eren stand in front of him, face flushed and angry and tears running down his face as he continues to fight their love instead of fighting for their love... He just feels defeated.

_If you respect me, don't protect me. You can tell me, I can handle it. Stop pretending, 'cause we're going down. If you let go, then just let go. It's disrespectful how you've handled this; never ending, kinda run around._

_I lied to my heart 'cause I thought you felt it, but you can't light a fire if the candle's melted. No, you don't have to love me if you don't wanna. Don't act like I mean nothing, but if you're gonna, well, then you better unkiss me, untouch me, untake this heart._

Eren stops crying, he stops yelling, but his fists clench tightly by his sides, and the look in his eyes seems cold. Levi knows Eren is a bit younger, but he never thought Eren looked more like a child than in this moment.

And almost immediately, Levi regrets everything, as Eren turns and heads for the door. He wasn't sure what he had expected to happen, but it wasn't this. After everything, he's not sure why he thought Eren would suddenly stay when he never stays. 

His heart breaks when Eren slams the door shut behind him. 

~~

Levi can't breathe for days. He doesn't bother with phone calls or texts. He just holds his breath waiting for Eren to come back to him. He knows he shouldn't. He knows Eren isn't good for him. But he can't breathe again until Eren is there with him.

Finally, Eren comes barging into their apartment, but he's still angry. Levi runs to him but Eren goes straight for the bedroom, straight to their dresser drawers to grab clothes and Levi knows and he feels that desperate feeling he always feels. He never cared that Eren isn't good for him, he just wants him to stay.

_Said that you were leaving, letting go of us. Where did we go wrong? Pack your things and go, but if you run away, I won't be alright. Even if the sun crashes into us, I won't let go. I can be your light, stay with me tonight, I won't let go. I won't let go..._

But Eren won't listen. He never listens. Why doesn't he ever listen? He's just walking around and grabbing things while Levi stands there, tears streaming down his face as he cries desperately for Eren to just listen.

He can't take it anymore. He grabs Eren by the arm and forces him to stop for just one second and looks him in the eyes, just listen. Levi is surprised that Eren is crying, too.

_Pick up all the pieces, fight to hold on. Put them back together, do it all for love. Never let it go. 'Cause I don't need a reason just to hold you, wipe all of your tears and look you in the eyes. Baby, please don't go. If you run away, I won't be alright..._

They stare at each other, some sort of desperation reflected in each of their eyes, but in the end, Eren pulls away, and turns to leave.

Levi stands there, alone, like always, and once again, he can't breathe. 

**Author's Note:**

> So this story is pretty OOC. Whenever I think of Eren and Levi, it's usually kinda opposite of this story?
> 
> But whenever I hear a song that gives me Ereri feels, it's almost always Levi singing to Eren, and I don't know why. Deep down I guess there's something about Levi unknowingly needing Eren more than Eren needs him that really gets me.


End file.
